I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
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RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
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The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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