You can't motorboat a personality
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
