Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
