Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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