This girl is more easily done than said...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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