So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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