Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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