I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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