Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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