i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
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He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
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Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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