I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
