ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
