imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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