WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
