If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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