Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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