Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
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You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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