I am in a vortex of obligation.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i came on her dog
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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