Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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