So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
