Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
