I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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