KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
