the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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