im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
