He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
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I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
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I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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