It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I need to stop coming to work sober
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize