She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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