Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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