saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
