Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
