My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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