This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He has the fingertips of a God
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
