used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
