I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
