i think my mom watched the whole time
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
