I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
