Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
