why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
