I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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