yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
