yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
