Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
