You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
