mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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