Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
