I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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