I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i came on her dog
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
