We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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