Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize