I wanna passion pit in your ass
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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