A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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