He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
