How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
