Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
my liver is dry heaving
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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