My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Holy shit dude........stairs
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
