If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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