Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
